Get it Toe-gether!

Week 3 of our favorite show begins with Amanda and Lauren B talking about how Olivia is deep down, a mean girl. They can’t find anything to connect with her about. And they are setting this up for an unforgetoeble episode.

Date card comes and the music to announce is so freaking dramatic reminscing on who did not receive a date card from last week, and JuJuBee starting to freak out. The card is opened and Lauren B. gets that one-on-one with Ben. They drive off with the top down (the car, not Lauren B.–she’s classy) on PCH where they end up at a small airport. Lauren B., the flight attendant, is TERRIFIED, which it’s like LIAR! You do this for a living and all of a sudden you’re terrified? Is that because there is nobody asking you for peanuts or a refill on their tomato juice? Or are you just a lying liar who lies to play the Damsel in Distress act? Either way, eye roll. They take flight and in a super troll-like move that was all Lauren B.’s idea, they fly over the mansion much to the other girls chagrin. Let me tell you, that move was freaking genius. As Katy Perry would say, watch out for the Regina George in sheep’s clothing.

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The plane lands in some meadow where there is conveniently a hot tub. Which makes me question production. Whose idea was this? How did they get said hot tub out there? Is it still there? How did they heat it? What did they plug it into? Do meadows come with built in electricity!? As one does in a hot tub, they make out which is all a lot because they haven’t had any real time to get to know each other, but hey, who am I to judge. Make out, kids!

At dinner, they talk about Lauren B.’s family. Her dad is simple and she wants to marry someone just like him. Simple like Simple Jack? Ben then shares that his dad had heart surgery, but since we saw his dad in Episode 1, we know he is doing much better. So phew. Crisis averted. They have another private concert with some random band that I did not catch the name of and all I’m thinking is WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! Does ABC now have a record label and are pushing their “big” signings!?

He gives her a rose and am I the only one who thinks that this girl has it in the bag? Watching this entire date, it’s like let’s fast-forward and just give her the final rose!

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Back at the mansion, Caila is crying because she thought that when she left her boyfriend after seeing Ben on TV, and then came on a TV show called THE BACHELOR, that Ben would be going on dates with other women. It’s just like reaaaaaaally hard for her to watch. Do these girls not understand the premise of this show? It’s legit the easiest thing to understand: You AND 25+ OTHER GIRLS will compete for ONE man’s love. That’s it.

The Bachelor recycles from Juan Pablo’s season and has a group date at The Coliseum. Alex Morgan and Kelley O’Hara from USWNT come in to help whip these girls into shape. It makes me wonder who thought this was a good idea? I’m really hoping that both are just huge Bach fans and thought it would be the easiest way to be on the show but like not have to compete for love.

Now look, I realize that I am not the biggest athlete, but these girls are freaking pathetic. Ben wants to see how these women “interact as a team” in case he feels like polygamy is his new jam. He has Kelley & Alex make them do drills and Lauren H. makes some punny comment about handling balls. Har. Har. The girls are split into teams, Stars and Stripes because AMERICA! It’s a rousing game that was about as exciting as watching paint dry and in the end Stripes win thanks to Amber who redeemed herself from last week’s horrible track stunt and I know what you are all thinking, and I’m not dignifying that thought with a response! Rachel and her charlie horse and the rest of the other team must go back to the mansion while the others get to continue with the date.

Later that night while Olivia is having some one-on-one time with Ben, the other girls start to turn on her. Talking about her smelly breath, and her weird toes. The cameras then pan to Olivia’s toes to reveal the following:

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Jami is not having any of this and proving how Canada she is, when Olivia returns Jami just has to tell her. She tries to be vague, but all Olivia wants to know is if its about her cankles. Well, is it?! We won’t find out because we are subjected to Amber realizing all she has learned from her time on The Bachelor, which is definitely not self-awareness. Because Ben got a look at those cankles, he lets Amber have the rose so that he can slowly watch her implode next week. But don’t worry, Olivia knows he’s still into her because he touched her thigh when getting up to leave. He used her as a wall to prop himself up. And she thinks it was an act of love. This is why women make $.77 to a man’s $1. COME ON GIRL!

In honor of MLK Day, The Bachelor does something it never has done before: give a person of color a one-on-one date. ABC, just doing their part. JuJuBee quips right away that Ben is 20 minutes late. I have found that the guy you’re trying to impress really loves when you insult him, so good job Juj, you’re doing great so far! As the helicopter arrives to whisk them away, she then asks if anybody wants to go on her date instead, insulting all of the girls who are so desperate for just an extra minute of his time. Honestly, do all of these girls have Asperger’s? Social awareness is not a strong suit for a good 50% of these girls.

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They fly away in the helicopter and land at a deserted spa where they are famished. They try caviar when JuJuBee spits it out. Things we’ve learned about JuJuBee so far on this date: Girl loves a hot dog. Does not love fish eggs. She then calls Ben “White Boy” which he laughs and seems pretty at ease in an infinity pool with JuJuBee. They pan out to them overlooking the vast view of hills somewhere in California.

Dinner happens and I was unaware that I switched to Dr. Phil because JuJuBee has a lot going on. Tears and intimate details and yet, still not discussion of the chest tattoo (or let’s be honest, the thigh tattoo as well). Ben gives her the rose, she sits on his lap, he kisses her cheek. Still awkward but I am not toooooootally hating on it. (Just kidding, I am, but he’s got to be into somebody else besides Lauren B. right?)

The cocktail party before the Rose Ceremony begins with Ben letting us know that some friends of his passed away in a plane crash, which is really sad but will let us see how well these girls can comfort their new grieving boyfriend. Cue Olivia, who can really read a person, to up his spirits by talking about her leg insecurity. “Ben, I’m like super sad that your friends passed away, I can totally relate because all my life I’ve been super sad about my cankles.” Even Ben senses the cray and walks away. He runs into JuJuBee who has nicely set up a massage table to relax him. And this is actually a really nice gesture and I’m kind of liking Juj a bit more.

But you know who isn’t?! The other girls! How dare that betch try to comfort him when those girls haven’t gotten a rose!? Which, selfish much?? Amber or Jami (honestly, they really look alike and I kept getting them confused this entire episode.) goes to break it up and reluctantly Ben obliges. While he talks to other girls, the Mean Gurlz decide they want to have a lil convo with JuJuBee who is like oh hell no this is not happening. She holds down and you gotta love her for it. She walks upstairs away from Amber and Ben goes to comfort her which BACKFIRE, bitches! Amber is then like “Oh S**t, I better go clean up this mess or else I’ve sealed my fate. And like, shouldn’t she know that when you bully a girl, unless you’re Courtney from other Ben’s season, that you’re going home?? Mark my words, she will not be receiving a rose next week.

Our favorite basket of crazy, Leathah&Lace, comes out of nowhere and pulls Ben aside to SELF-ELIMINATE! Who saw that coming!? She’s been reflecting and realizes she needs to work on herself and this just isn’t the place and you know what? If you’re not going to bring the crazy, go home because now you’re just wasting time on my screen from other crazy that could be happening. Bye L&L!

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Rose ceremony begins and Olivia knows she’s got this one in the bag. Except, maybe she doesn’t? She’s the last one called and all I can hear is the stomping of those tree trunks. If a Bachelor contestant walks in the woods, does anybody hear her desperation!? We said goodbye to the Russian babushka, Shushanna, who shockingly DOES speak English! We also said goodbye to Jami, who I’m really afraid will become a cat lady after getting denied on this episode. What she doesn’t realize is that we have done all we can for Canadians with Kaitlyn (and Jillian but who remembers her?). There will be no repeat. With this elimination, JuJuBee and Amber live to fight another day, battling the race card with ABC on how long they can last.

Till next week…

(DISCLAIMER: Any badly-lit reference to Canada is only within the Bachelorsphere. I enjoy our neighbors to the North for all they have given us, including but not limited to maple syrup, universal healthcare and The Ryan’s–Gosling & Reynolds.)












Get it Toe-gether!

Take a Ride Along (2!)

Ok. I’m a week late but life gets in the way and I’m like really cool and popular and super busy. Also, none of that is true and in reality it really just took me a long time to do a re-watch of this episode. And even not being on tons of meds, I still don’t know what I watched this past week. (Also, apologies in advance because I have no pictures to go with this post. Feel free to add yours to the comments!)

We start out with the ladies saying how perfect Ben is. JoJo says he checks off every list, which makes me question how many lists she has and why doesn’t she just combine those lists into one list. Seems like she is causing more trouble with multiple lists. The Twins (who knows which one, tbh) say he’s the greatest Bachelor in the history of the planet, which I have to agree with, only because I’m a cougar-in-training. They pan to a few of the girls on top of the balcony screaming that they are coming for Ben, which is actually really creepy when you think that Ben is staying just down the road in the Bachelor Mansion Guest House. Hopefully he saw which girls so that he can eliminate them soon. Stage 5 Clingers…

The ladies gather for the group date card announcement where Lace self-reflects of how she maybe sort of definitely had a little too much to drink last night and she is definitely not that crazy girl. Which makes me sad because I like her more as the crazy one. Normality is SOO boring. However, this is ABC, so you know this is just a pre-cursor to more crazy from Lace, who from now on, I have renamed Leathah&Lace because she seems like that kind of girl. (Although, Lace, if you want to join my girl gang called the Leathah LadieZ, we’re taking applications.)

There are like half of the girls that go on the group date to a local high school where Principal Harrison (looking good in those glasses and sweater vest, CH!) tells them they will be paired in teams of two to go back to school. This is because Ben needs a lady who has a GED. Only requirement for his future wife. Anyways, first round they must make Ben’s “volcano explode” and its like hello sexual innuendo but censored because its ABC! What a surprise that Leathah&Lace (who JuJuBee keeps calling Lacey) can’t seem to read beakers and they lose. L&L better be scared because JuJuBee tells America that she plans on making her disappear. Which any other girl I don’t think I’d be as frightened of, but this betch is a War veteran. You know she knows how to do that and hide the evidence…

Next round is Lunch, because that was obviously everybody’s favorite school subject. Which means bobbing for apples. Somebody loses, and I don’t even care who because they aren’t going that far in this game. Let’s pass a few rounds. It all comes down to Mandi vs Amber with a track competition. And all those who expected Amber to win, how dare you, racists. Mandi crosses that finish line and breaks through that paper banner into the arms of the Homecoming King, Ben. Amber is super bummed because she sucks at game shows and is slowly realizing it. Is it really that much of a loss that you didn’t get to circle the track with Ben in a Mustang and relive the glory days? Well, it’s Amber, and her life is circling the drain, so yes. It probably really is a loss to her.

Then they travel to a rooftop of somewhere in LA to continue the date. L&L plans on telling Ben that she is totes normal but GD it! Becca steals him away first. Let the games begin! They play an awkward round of basketball, subconsciously making the viewer remember why Becca is a virgin. He then talks to low-rent Olivia Munn (is her name Jennifer? Jessica? Janice? WHO IS THIS GIRL!?) and he gives her the first real kiss of this season, which is SOOO Ben to do that with a girl who is that unmemorable. (Is she a dark horse like the recently Instagram-hacked Catherine Guidici?)

L&L then talks to Ben and apologizes for her actions and then makes some really weird small talk with him, which leads me to believe that she needs alcohol as a social lubricant because girl is definitely on the spectrum and needs a quick diagnosis. JuJuBee comes around, getting revenge for the elimination earlier in the day and grabs Ben. She opens up to him about being adopted, etc. But still no mention of why on Earth she got that chest tattoo. That must be held for group date 5, when they are really making a connection. They share an awkward kiss to where I’m cringing and actually hoping that L&L can do something to spice things up.

Thank the Bachelor Gods because this crazy lady does. “F*** these Bitches” L&L says. And my evil laugh comes out because this is going to be geeeeewwwwwd. She steals him again, but only to be even more awkward. All I’m thinking is how great of TV she is going to make for the next season of Bachelor in Paradise. JoJo and Ben then get to talking on the rooftop (which very reminiscent of Ben & Kaitlyn on a rooftop–The Bachelor must be running out of locations) and JoJo has never been this happy in her life before. Which makes me wonder if she had a childhood or ever achieved any accolades, but I digress because why do we EVER try to make sense of The Bachelor contestants? She ends up getting the group date rose and JuJuBee & L&L are PISSED.

I’m curious to see why Ben is attracted to Caila, who receives the first one-on-one date. I find her annoying and her face is weirdly shaped. Ben decided to let Harrison plan this date, and can you just imagine him planning a date? Calling places to secure reservations. Renting a car. Scouting locations. I mean, it is cute that they pretend. Anyways, the promotion for Ride Along 2–which weirdly came out on Friday and they so didn’t plan on this being cross-promotion, right–begins now. Kevin Hart & Ice Cube (who has come a long way from Straight Outta Compton…) show up to Ride Along with Ben & Caila for the morning. They tell Ben he should buy some Hypnotiq/Hennessey (I can’t remember) and some condoms. Ben says they have different ideas of a first date. That Ben, he’s so classy! They end up at a hot tub store, where they strangely get in one (they brought bathing suits with them?!) and so does Kevin Hart, which was funny two seasons ago with Chris/Kaitlyn and Jimmy Kimmel. But this season, its weird and uncomfortable and why does Kevin Hart have to try so damn hard?

After that weird rendezvous, they say goodbye to their new besties and end up at a private concert with one of Ben’s FAVORITE artists, Amos Lee, which who in the eff is that? Did he recently release an album? Is he an old star trying to make a comeback? This is definitely no Train and he is NOT singing “Meet Virginia.” I rate this 1/5 stars and hope that the show has better guest acts later in the season. These crazy kids slow dance and kiss and I’m bored. What do you guys think L&L is doing right now!?

Well we won’t find out until the rose ceremony because it’s time for Group Date 2, where they are matched in compatibility. Which apparently means getting down to your skivvies and letting Ben smell you. We should have all known Samantha was a goner when she was told she smells sour. Look, there is no coming back from that Sam. Take your losses and leave with your head held high. But she won’t because this is The Bachelor and self-esteem is not necessary. What a surprise that Olivia is the best match for him and she has this smug little face like “No duh” (and you know she totally uses that in her every day life, because she’s Olivia) and she is so confident in their relationship. TBH, this date was really weird, and whoever came up with the idea should be fired. Nobody was into it, and I think I fast-forwarded most of it because it was gag-inducing.

We then arrive at the cocktail party for the group date and Ben steals Olivia away first to take her to his hotel room, which what? Why does he have a hotel room there? Is he going to sleep there? Does he need a place to get ready? What happened to the Guest House?! Whatever, they kiss, she’s like oh change my name to Olivia Higgins. Which perpetuates my theory of the level of creepiness that you exude is directly related to how attractive you are. The more attractive, the less creepy. And as someone who is a hardcore creep, let me tell you, I’ve put in A LOT of research for this scientific experiment.

Afterwards, Olivia then asks the girls where they plan on taking Ben for their one-on-one time and when they ask where she went she makes her millionth weird face for the night and then decides she doesn’t want to talk about it. Um, you can’t ask a question and not expect for someone to ask you a question back. That is called conversing and maybe you need to join L&L on the spectrum, you weirdo.

Ben tries to redeem himself with Sam and tells her she smells like passion fruit, which Sam is like “OMG Ben, you’re toooootes scoring more points with me.” But again, all I smell is sour desperation. So maybe my smell-o-vision TV needs to go to the shop. Amanda, in her best baby voice, then reveals to Ben that she has 2 little kids and because Ben is a future politician, he’s like “I love kids! I’m going to brainstorm a gift that you can tell them your man-friend gave you to give to them!” And they kiss, and Amanda tries to be the second-coming of Emily.

FINALLY, we arrive at the cocktail party before the Rose Ceremony. The room is filled with nerves, insecurities, and alcohol! Olivia, trying to craft her role as this season’s villian, steals Ben, “her man”, from Leah even though that bitch already has a rose. Come on Olivia, you know you don’t do that, it’s like the rules of feminism! (TM Gretchen Weiners) L&L tries to bring the crazy by chatting with Ben again to let him know that she isn’t crazy, because that is how you secure yourself as the crazy one. We all know that L&L just needs to find her bottle of champagne, because that is the only rose she really deserves (I also don’t know where the accent key is on my computer, so the joke works when you say it out loud. Just try it. Please.)

Ben has some alone time with Lauren B. who I all but forgot about because she didn’t have a date this week. He gifts her a photo of their first time together, which breaks the 4th wall and reminds us viewers that besides being video-ed, there is also somebody there to catch still shots of the Bach and his ladies. She’s not too impressed, really playing the hard to get card, and if he wanted her to leave, she’d be fine with that. Which Ben is like wait, what? Nah bro, you need to stay. And Lauren B. has mastered the game of reverse psychology.

He pulls Amanda aside and they make barrettes for her daughters. Which is weird and creepy and they are literally bobby pins with plastic flowers. Her daughters are not going to be impressed. They live in Laguna Beach. And if we have learned anything from LC, Stephen, and Kristen, we know that Laguna Beach does not enjoy knock offs. But Amanda cries and is like oh this is so adorable. Then she secretly makes matching ones for herself so that her and her kids can be triplets. (I may or may not have made that part up.)

This is like the longest 2 hours of my life (and really 4 because I was on too many meds the first time around) and thank god the rose ceremony happens. He starts to give out the roses and we cut to L&L interviewing that she knows Ben doesn’t like her and she became the girl she isn’t and blah blah, have some more to drink because you’re keeping me entertained, girl. Then LB looks around and is like why TF am I here? I’m normal and cute and pretty skinz, I should be able to get a man the normal way. Also, I’m rocking tuxedo pants and a crop top and I’m looking fab. I’m out of here. And she leaves. Which means Amber totally got that rose to stay due to there being an extra one. You can just hear her inner monologue wondering why she isn’t good enough but maybe she is, and maybe she has another week to prove herself and why can’t she just win the effing show!?!?

This week we lost: Dentist Mandi, which I’ll really miss that weirdo. Nobody else does face melting quite like she does. I also can’t believe that Ben eliminated her after she beat Amber in a foot race! We also lost Sour Sam, who luckily has a law career to go back to. And maybe she’ll now invest in some deodorant (great candidate for BiP as well). And Jackie, which I have no idea who she is, so auf wiedersehen, you shall not be missed.

Take a Ride Along (2!)

Which Came First? The Chicken or the Ben?

Season 20 starts out with our beautiful Ben showing us around his hometown of Podunk, Indiana where he is the Grand Marshall for the town parade and if you listen juuuuuustclosely enough you can hear “Presenting The Bachelor….from…The Bachelor!”  

And apparently, he forgot to tell us that he was some hot shot athlete during the Glory Days and looked like the actors from Varsity Blues. (“I don’t want. Your life.”–but that is for another time)

We then switch to Ben talking to himself/us in the car. Telling us how he got his heart broken and is he possible, dare I say it? UNLOVEABLE?! I think we would be able to tell if he would just take off his shirt, but there is plenty of season for that and it BETTER HAPPEN!

Cue Chris MF Harrison (seriously, check out that twitter handle, you’re welcome in advance) in front of the infamous Bachelor Mansion. Reminding us all about Ben from Kaitlyn’s season. Deemed unloveable, is his match here?! This season?! Could it be….? Well, let’s find out.

Let’s do some limo highlights. Because if there is ever a way to make a first impression, most of these girls know exactly what not to do.

Lauren B–great bod, decent face and a flight attendant (read future: not home enough to yell at Ben for putting his feet up on the coffee table)

Mandi–this girl shows up with a big ole’ Red rose on her head and I just can’t. And yet, this isn’t even her weirdest moment of the night.

Samantha–she found out she passed the bar! so now she can have “lawyer” as her occupation under her name and age when shown on TV. YAY!

Amanda–super cute but a mom of 2. Can anybody say BAGGAGE?! Also, super annoying voice, hopefully her face can make up for that.

Jubilee–she will from now on be referred to as JuJuBee because who is this gal with the chest tattoo and her Wet Seal dress and oh? She’s a war hero? Do I have to be nice to her now?

Lace–well her teeth look like they are hugging each other but she does manage to give him the first kiss of the season, therefore letting the other 27 women end up as her sloppy seconds.

Shushanna–does anybody actually know if she speaks English? Or are we subjected to closed captioning for the 1, maybe 2 episodes she ends up sticking around for?

Leah–she got out of the limo and I thought, “Wow, she is stunning.” Then she brings out a football and bends over to hike it and things got weird and I had second-hand embarrassment.

JoJo–definitely my spirit animal (is that possible if she is human) as she strolled out of the limo with a unicorn head. I thought to myself, I would totally do something like that. I then realized ideas like this are why I am still single.

The Twins–I refuse to give them separate names until they turn on each other. Sister wives has been taken to a new level. And don’t ask me why I know this, BUT they definitely tried out to be Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and didn’t make it past round 1. (I may or may not watch that other reality show on CMT…)

Manly Meagan–she shows up with a mini-horse. How do you beat Twins she asks? With a mini-horse! Which, no. No you don’t. And you’ll find that out at the end of the episode when you and Huey take that loooooong walk down the wet driveway.

Breanne–she is the epitome of “how do you know if somebody is gluten-free? don’t worry, they’ll tell you”. but she wants to break bread with him. Like legit smash french rolls on the curb. It’s like, are you really surprised when you don’t make a connection with The Bach??

Tiara–the chicken enthusiast who has never left her chicks for this long of a period of time, but also may be a bit normal? Ben thinks she is beautiful, but spoiler alert, NOT beautiful enough to make it past night 1.

Rachel–rides a hover board in, wonders why she is unemployed

–At this point, Lace is starting to hit the bottle. Silently, or not so silently, judging the girls–

After all the limo intros, Chris drops a HILARIOUS joke: “Stop me if you’ve heard this one before–A horse, a bachelorette an a unicorn walk into a mansion…” Do you guys think he improved that? If so, bravo Harrison, BRAVO!

Ben then calls his parents at what must be 3am to let them know there are many many girls who are absolutely stunning. Because Ben is still a man, and looks do matter (which means Red Velvet is for sure gone by the end of this episode.).

Ben enters the house to give the spiel of how lucky he is to be in a room and blah, blah, here comes Rose Head Mandi to steal him away. Let those games begin!

And by games, I mean a teeth cleaning and belittling about his flossing skills, or lack thereof. I’m getting vibes of “Free Spirit” Lucy from season’s past.

While this happens, a big ole surprise is taking place out front. It’s Becca and…who!? Ok so nobody remembers Amber, but daaaaang she cleans up nice. Good to know that whatever you catch in BiP, it can be gotten rid of with a bit of penicillin and a little eyeliner.

Lace is now looking for another wine glass. Ready to start double fisting, because no good story ever started with “so I was eating a salad…” She silently creeps watching Ben talk to Becca and Amber, slowly stalking her prey.

Finally, she interrupts JuJuBee, and then drunkenly asks for another kiss. And gets denied. Come on Lace, he isn’t here for just smooches. He now remembers he needs to know these girls for their minds.

BUT according to Lace, she tells Red Velvet that they were literally about to kiss. Literally! You DON’T make Lace look like a fool. Nobody puts Baby in the corner. NOBODY!

Ben grabs her to apologize and she says she is not happy. But they have a connection, so she lets it slide. Probably because her wine glass is empty.

Harrison drops off the First Impression Rose. Lace already knows she is getting that beezy because Ben is her man. But, shocker, it ain’t her! He gives it to Olivia because she is the most sparkly and has the straightest hair. Also, because they had a great convo.

He convenes with the girls and has some small chat. Then Harrison freaking shows up again. It really is never good news when he shows up. He’s like the Grim Reaper, but in a super expensive suit. Lace is pissed. Ben didn’t even look at her ONCE in the eye. How dare he! There are 27 other girls but clearly she is the one!

Rose ceremony: Amber says she feels something with Ben. I’ll tell you what she feels–desperation. Maybe she’s feeling that biological clock ticking on those ovaries because if this doesn’t work out, the next season of Bachelor in Paradise isn’t till summer. And if THAT doesn’t work, another season of The Bachelor is 6+ months after.

He gives the last rose to Lace, which thank god. It isn’t time to get rid of her yet. After the ceremony she is like love ME, give ME attention. And all I’m thinking is, this must work and I should probably add this to my arsenal of how to get the guy.

We said our goodbyes to: Tiara, the chicken enthusiast, Izzy who ain’t the onesie, Lauren with the lips (which good, too many Lauren’s!), Jessica (huh?! I thought for sure he would have kept her), Breanne the gluten-free bread breaker, and Manly Meagan and her mini-horse.

This season looks like a doozy. A black eye, a manipulator, kisses, hugs, drama, a hurricane that almost blows Ben away. I. CAN’T. WAIT!

Which Came First? The Chicken or the Ben?

We’re Back!

bachelor-girls-2016-940x545.jpgSeason 20 started last night and what better way to represent this momentous occasion than having what I consider to be THE BEST BACHELOR IN THE HISTORY OF THE SHOW, Ben Higgins find his not-just-for-TV, but instead his happily ever after wife. I’ll be here each week, recapping the crazy. Won’t you join me in this rose-colored adventure?

We’re Back!